With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
