Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
