So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
