Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
