I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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