Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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