sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
