youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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