Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dignity is for republicans.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
