Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
