dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
