She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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