How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
