Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
