i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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