At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
