I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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