we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
this boner is exhausting
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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