Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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