dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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