from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Randomize
