Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
