like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
