ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
