More tranny stories later!
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
