she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
