i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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