Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
