it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
