i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
