What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
