i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think a kid would responsible me up
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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