it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
