porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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