I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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