Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Mom said you looked used
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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