College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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