happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
