Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
