Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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