Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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