So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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