dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
