Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
