Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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