Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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