maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
