i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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