Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
