Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
