Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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